What happens when you combine coaching skills, systemic thinking, and nature?
Yes, you already know, these are our favorite topics for the past 7 years.
Today we’re sharing a brief moment from a systemic coaching session:
🌳 “When we met, she was stressed and unsure whether to come to the meeting.
She confessed, ‘I am curious to explore. I don’t have a specific topic. I just don’t want to talk about relationships or my love life.’
Something was bothering her, but she didn’t want to bring it up, and I had to respect her decision.
My suggestion was to start with an exercise: she should choose three tree stumps that represent different spheres in her life. The trees had varying shapes and heights, and she positioned herself on the ground among them.
Fallen leaves were scattered everywhere, and a small tree with wounds represented her family. Then, I asked her to tell me more about that tree and describe the energy in that relationship. To make it visual, I asked her to place sticks on the ground to represent what she gives and what she takes in the relationship. The pile representing what she gives grew quickly, and she perceived that she was giving too much to her father. I handed her a stick and asked her to take it, but she couldn’t.
She whispered, ‘I constantly give so much that I hate it, but I can’t stop. It’s like it’s never enough, never good.’
Outcome: She shared that her relationship with her father makes her feel invisible. Later, she added that in the relationship she initially didn’t want to discuss, she felt rejected but was still hoping for something to change.
Impact: This exercise raised awareness of what made her feel bad in her relationship with her father and revealed a potential connection between this and her subconscious choice in the men she dates.”
*The case was shared with the participant’s consent.
We’re gently getting ready for the upcoming Systemic Coaching training, “Source”, 13th of October
“He opens the discussion with: `I want more money. A lot of money.`
I followed with a question: `And when is ‘a lot’ ‘enough’ for you?
My question opened up a new subject, the relationship with his father. While talking, his fist was clenched tightly, so I pointed it out: ‘What are you holding now?’.
‘I hadn’t noticed,’ he admitted after a few seconds. ‘Anger. I am holding onto anger.’
After this, he could easily reveal the connection between his desire for wealth and his relationship with his father and that this desire may stem from someone else’s wishes.”
Listening beyond the words is a coaching skill that can simplify your work.
When someone shares a challenging aspect of their life, instead of analyzing every detail and searching for a logical cause or solution, addressing the underlying connections can be more effective.
In this example, the person had intertwined the concepts of “a lot” and “enough,” and trapped himself in a loop.
In Practicing Coaching, we approach coaching through the lens of connections:
We explore these questions through applied activities in Practicing Coaching training.
The aim is not merely to provide more information about coaching but to take the skills participants already have and expand, adjust, and elevate them.
This way, they can learn how to tailor coaching conversations that fit the needs of their professional context.
On the 9th of November 2023, we`ll start again this adventure of Practicing Coaching so new relevant case studies about applied coaching might arise.
*Our heartfelt thanks to Elena Mena for sharing this beautiful example.
🚀🌻 #PracticingCoaching #ProfessionalDevelopment